Look at this Hat. Servitude.

Blog Post 3:

           

Dear Texas Academy of Leadership in the Humanities student,

The thought occurred to me as I was writing this letter that “servitude” is a really great word, and that it is my deepest desire to use it in a piece of writing. So there.

            On an unrelated note, I implore you to volunteer at the Art Museum of Southeast Texas. Not only is the work that you will do invaluable, but it will also help you to become a better person and lead a more fulfilling life and help you to learn more about your thought process. This was me before:

            And this is me afterwards:

           Artistic liberties have, of course, been taken (my hair is a little bit shorter in the back and longer in the front, and my eyes are quite a bit lower). But the point remains that I was significantly changed by the whole affair, in what I believe to be a positive manner.

           Since you were able to get into TALH, it stands to reason that you are a pretty smart cookie. As a fellow smart cookie, I commiserate with you for your desire to do great things in the world. I, at least, felt that as a being gifted (read: randomly selected by the cruel whims of nature) with the magical property of intelligence I was obligated to do great things. However, planning a life around the goal of simply "doing great things" is difficult, to say the least. Fortunately, volunteering at the museum can easily fulfill that goal. I have truly enjoyed my time there, and I feel that you will as well. The people are nice, the work isn't too difficult but is still fulfilling (once you learn how to appreciate it, anyway), and sometimes you get snacks (<--really want to buy that now). What more could anybody ask for from a service project? In addition, you will truly feel that you are making a difference in the world.

          Dear reader, forget momentarily your inhibitions on reading my blog in a serious manner, and listen to what I have to say.

          I've done a lot of volunteering in my time. As a Boy Scout I served for countless hours around the county at various small-town-Texas-doesn't-really-matter projects, and I really never received the satisfaction from service that I so desperately craved. Who knows? You may have found some form of satisfaction somewhere else, and so can't relate to this unfulfilled yearning.

         If you haven't had that satisfaction of making a difference in the world, you really must volunteer at the museum. It fulfilled my sense of longing, and I'm sure that you will be fulfilled as well. But even if you have had the pleasure of feeling that satisfaction, then I still implore you to consider the museum as your primary volunteering venue. I promise that you will not regret it.

        *Switching back to confusingly satirical/ironic/brilliant mode*

       If you don't volunteer at the museum, then everybody that you have ever loved will die on Friday, March 5th, 2037, at around 5:00 AM. I know that this claim seems a little bit far fetched, but do you really want to take that chance? Also at the same time you will find a shiny Charizard card (1st edition!!!11!!) but then it spontaneously bursts into an eerie green conflagration and you hear the voices of one thousand dead Pokemon moaning their sad, sad Pokemon stories that will never be known to this realm. And then you will stub your toe. In short, you really want to volunteer at the museum, because otherwise a lot of bad things will happen and that will really stink for you.


Thank you for taking volunteering at the Art Museum of Southeast Texas into consideration,

             Yours truly,

              Dane