In my first post, I discussed, to some degree, my
pre- and misconceptions about the nature of my work at the museum and the
impact that it would have. However, I feel that it is entirely necessary to
further address these issues, as they are rather complicated.
I
thought that I would be doing grand work, glorious work, which would somehow
lead to fame and honor, and, more importantly, to being a large influence on
the children. While it is true that I also thought that I would be advancing
the human race, selfish desire for the aforementioned items played no small
role in my decision to volunteer at the museum. I have a *bit* of a superiority
complex, and what better way to be superior to the average individual than to
control the minds of dozens of tiny, fourth grade, minions? Children are the
future of our world, and so by controlling the children, I could control the world. All the effective leaders in history
have used children to influence the future and/or do their bidding:
As
it turned out, I didn’t get to work with the children directly at all, and so
could not exert undue influence on their thought process, effectively
defenestrating my ambitious ambitions.
My
grand scheme was ruined, but at least I got to help some kids have some “lulz”,
and after all, isn’t that the purpose of life ( http://www.bookoflulz.blogspot.com)?
In
short, I was expecting to work with the kids and have some sort of grand
influence to both increase my ego and help the world in a majestically
impressive way, and with the children out of reach, my dreams vanished and my
ego popped. I was left with nothing but dye-stained hands (from mixing color
into the icing for the sugar skulls) and a vague sense of dissatisfaction.
But from the ashes of
this horrendous defeat, I rebuilt.
Like Alexander the Great
rebuilding Carthage from the ashes of the Roman sack, I cast the subject in a
different light. What if it wasn’t a defeat, but a learning experience sent
from OUR HOLY FATHER(http://www.biblegateway.com/),
who chose to use his powers to help me grow as a person instead of killing
Hitler or stopping World War III (in the future, of course; GOD works outside
of time) because HE works in mysterious ways?
What I learned from
this divine influence is that I don’t have to do great things to have a
positive impact on the world. My experiences at the museum haven’t taught me
any real skills, unless mixing disgusting icing in massive quantities can be
considered one, but they have taught me to enjoy helping out in miniscule
quantities.
I learned of my own
internal selfishness from volunteering at the museum. The concept of
volunteering is rather romanticized in modern media, with selfless and tireless
citizens held up as paragons of moral supremacy and American exceptionalism.
Given this, it came as a shock when I examined my reasons for volunteering and
found among them selfish desires for recognition and control. This isn't a dramatic tale of how I overcame my baser and selfish human instincts, though. I still have those urges. But when I saw that those were the ONLY reasons that I was volunteering, I felt rather goofy, and when I examined what I was actually doing at the museum, I realized that I was doing something great after all, prompting me to rethink my thought process for doing service.
I feel that I am simply
a better person for having spent my time volunteering at the Art After School
program. My core philosophy on how to make an impact on the world radically
shifted during my time there, and I can now go out in confidence and live a
more fulfilling life. I know that this may sound like satirical crud, especially coming form me; however, I am being completely serious when I say these things. I really am an improved human being and have learned a lot from this experience.
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